Life Is Beautiful

What are the most important things needed to live a good life?

Living a good life is one thing everybody wants and honestly, being able to see another day is already a blessing and it simply means you are not a failure. You get to try again. But living a good life depends on you, the things you decide to do in your life and the people you let into your life. Living a good life depends on how you pursue the things important to you. How you value yourself and your purpose. So many people tend to acquire a large number of friends to make them feel good and by so doing, they already have that life they want. But it’s not in the quantity, it is the quality of friends you have.

Walking in God’s love and purpose.

Surrounding yourself with quality friends and family who love you genuinely.

Being at peace with yourself.

Being content with yourself and things happening around you: I talked about this in my previous post.

How can we even ignore the fact that money also has a significant role to play in having a good life?

Setting goals and tackling them can bring fulfillment as well.

Living a good life has to do with you and what you decide to do in your life, to bring that inner peace within you.

Make it your responsibility to find happiness in yourself. You are an embodiment of beautiful things.

This Is Your Territory!

From the first day I decided to post helpful stuff online, I had an idea in my head:  bringing to light, thinngs about ourselves that have been hidden for far too long due to societal rules and unrealistic expectations. The truth is, we can’t always have control over everything. The only person who is permitted to have control is God. All we have to do is submit ourselves to him to give us control over the things within our power and leave the rest to Him. I didn’t know this.

There are so many things I have come to unlearn these past few months. It’s amazing how much we can grab from life in just a short period of time. The first thing I learned is that there are so many things we don’t have control over. And one of them include the need to be perfect. 

It is okay to be different. Being different doesn’t mean that you’re a bad egg. It doesn’t mean that you’re not good enough. It simply means that God made you with a special kind of ability to do things differently, to process things differently, to live life differently in ways that only brings Glory to Him. You’re not an outcast just because you can’t fit in. You’re simply different. And God made you that way because there is no one who would do what you can do the way you can do it.

We are humans and we’re flawed. And that is okay! Love yourself for who you are because there is someone out there wishing and just hoping that they be like you. I used to be this person. As the first daughter in an African home, I had so many expectations from people who did even know me. So many responsibilities placed on my shoulders and with that came the need to please everybody. With that came the constant reminder that I had to be good example to clear a path for my younger siblings. And the latter is okay, I totally agree with that, but it created a façade. I would always criticize myself for not doing things the way everyone else wants me to and hate myself for making mistakes. “Why can’t you just get one thing right?! She looks so beautiful, I wish I had those set of eyes. I messed up again, I can never be better than this!” I would yell at myself, hate my body because I constantly fed my eyes and imagination with things that looked so perfect. As an heterosexual woman, growing up to constant flawless lifestyles popping up on social media and being around friends who threw lavish parties, it wasn’t easy to look away, especially with a flawed mindset filled with insecurities. 

At hindsight, I began to understand that these things should not be allowed to define me. It transformed my mindset to make me understand that I am different for a reason. And so are you. I don’t know why I am making this post now, but I know someone needs to here this. You are not a mistake!

Love yourself. Be the best version of yourself on Earth. Look around you, there is no one like you for a reason! Because you are your own kind of woman. You are your own kind of Man. Think of it this way: God has given you the power to make yourself feel loved. Which means, He has put the power of your own happiness in your hands. Nobody has the right to make you feel less of who you are. You were planted here to make a difference because you are extraordinary. Love your flaws and be patient with yourself in this learning process. Tell yourself that you are worth it and you are not a mistake. I had to remind myself of this everyday until it became embedded in my subconscious. You’re perfect just the way you are.

Walk this Earth like you belong here because you do! This is your territory!

List three books that have had an impact on you. Why?

First of all, I am an avid reader and I don’t think anyone has been able to take that place from me in my family. I’m trying not to brag😁 (but I can’t!). There are tons of book I have read that made huge impacts in my life. One different from the other.

1. I will start with the Bible. Personally, there is no day that I read this wonderful book that I don’t get blessed somehow. No matter how many times I read a particular chapter, it always speaks to me differently.

2. Joyce Meyer’s Straight Talk on Insecurity will take the second place because at the time, I was in a place where I was soaked in insecurity. It had damaged a significant part of my life due to what I had been through growing up. The Holy Spirit led me to this book and that was the beginning of something beautiful in my life.

3. The Confident Woman by Joyce Meyer: There’s something about this woman that keeps me coming back to her books. Anyway, this one changed my mindset from how I live my life before God and men, to how I view myself as a child of God.

ROCKS, STONES AND THE HILLTOP

There’s  a road on my way to church that no one can avoid. That is the only road that leads to church and whoever it is, a pedestrian or a car owner has to go through this one road.

Walking to church is easy but coming back home, one has to climb. It’s  a hill with lots of stones and rocky parts that you’ll have to avoid and be very careful so you don’t fall. When coming back from church, we all have to climb this hill back to the bus stop and I’m telling you it’s not easy. But we all have a destination, right? We need to get to the bus stop. Now for some people who don’t have enough cash to take the easy way out and pay a bike to take them all the way up, have to pant and climb and sweat it out as they climb.

    From the book of Matthew, it is clearly stated that Jesus saw the crowd gathering towards Him and he climbed a hilltop and they followed. Matt 5 from verse 1 says: “When Jesus saw his ministry  drawing  huge crowd, he climbed a hillside, those who were apprenticed to Him, the committed, climbed with him. Arriving  at a quiet place, He sat down {MSB}”. 

I had to use the hilltop on my way to church for better understanding. Climbing a hilltop is never easy if you’re not mobile and at the time, they only had their legs and whatever strength they had left in them.

Jesus  took them to a quiet place where he knew would be easy for everyone to focus on Him alone. He took them to a place where only His voice mattered. He took them to a place where they could see nothing else around them. I’m sure if it were a market place, all He wanted to do was take them away from anything that could pose as a distraction to them.

Some people must have stopped along the way to rest and didn’t  go on with others. Some rested but were distracted by the noise around them.

     Jesus is a very detailed man and even while He was on Earth, everything He did and said, was a message to us. Most times we just have to be quiet to hear Him. When things around us is posing as a threat to our lives, we all have to find that quiet place where only God matters and communicate. He knows that life can be hard. He knows that for us to become who He wants us to be, who He has created us to be, we have to leave every distraction behind. We have to focus on his voice and disconnect from any other thing that doesn’t encourage us to grow. That is why he sent His son to us. Only those who look only to the destination and not the noise around them, can get there with Him. Sometimes when you are in a state where you can’t think clearly anymore, things are happening all at once and you don’t even know what else to say to God, all you need is to be quiet and focus on His voice because He always speaks to us. Sometimes it can seem like he’s quiet but He speaks.

God doesn’t speak to a rioted heart. He needs to bring you to a place where only His voice can be heard. If you can speak to Him to take control and put everything else aside, He will.

Find a place inside your heart and speak to Him, you don’t even have to be audible for everyone else to hear you. He is a God that searches all hearts so why won’t He hear you when you speak quietly to Him? You can also find that quiet place in His Word.

David said, “Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path {Ps. 119:105}.” When the road seems rocky and full of stones and you get tired and feel like you can’t go on with life anymore, just know that Jesus is right beside you, and He is holding your hand. It is okay to get tired, but know that you are never alone. He can hear you even when you speak and ask for help. Just know that where your strength ends, the strength of God begins. He can never let you do life alone. Jesus was once on Earth, He went through everything you’re going through and He understands. He knows what it feels like to be helpless, clueless and without a single way out. He is only saying that He is there with you.

Honesty

What quality do you value most in a friend?

I value genuine love from my friend and the ability to be honest with me no matter what happens. The fact that you can let me know how you feel about a certain thing and be very open to call me out on my wrong regardless. Being honest about anything and everything, there’s love there!

Love, Amongst Many Other Things.

What is the legacy you want to leave behind?

Let love lead.

I want to be the kind of woman whom everyone remembers as someone who showed love to people effortlessly. I want people to remember me as a woman who lived an examplary life to prove that God exists.

I think my life is enough example that God can do wonders, so I want people to remember me for the good things I offered not just to individuals but to society as well. My legacy will be visible enough to see and be felt. My values, principles, lifestyle should be able to change lives. That’s my legacy.

It’s not just about building infrastructures that people can remember you by, though that’s very important  as well but it not lasting. The most important kind of legacy is in the way you treat people around you. How much you can impact in the lives of people near and far away and warm the hearts of people not just because I want to maintain a certain kind of reputation but because it is who i am and it is what i would like other to emulate. That’s the kind of legacy I want to leave behind.

Reckless Love

I had to go through the dictionary to find the meaning of the word “reckless”. I understood it as carelessness and actions without thinking. Although the dictionary stated almost the same thing but I got a different meaning from what I read. “A disregard for danger or consequences.” I thought about what to relate it with and a scene in Grey’s Anatomy came to mind and honestly, it was because of these characters, I stopped seeing Grey’s Anatomy. The shooting in the hospital that happened at the nurses reception causing Mark to rather think of taking Lexi to safety without minding the fact that he could have been shot with how the bullets were flying around. He only thought of Lexi at the time. That’s how much God cares for and shields us from evil. From bad thoughts. From evil lifestyles that won’t lead us to our destiny.

Last night, I was singing Cory Asbury’s song: Reckless Love and it wasn’t until last night that I got a clear understanding of what it means to have such love for someone that you can do anything to keep the person safe. Sometimes God decides to take people away from this Earth not because he wants to be wicked, but because He has seen the future of this person  and He would rather have them over in heaven than keep them on earth and lose them to hell.

The Reckless Love of God.

“Before I spoke a word, you were singing over me”. God already spoke over our lives before we took our first breath. Most of my blog posts are all about God’s predestined plan for us and living according to His plan. Because it is so fulfilling to do that. Thing is, God already formed us in the way He wants us to be. So whatever we see in life is only a path that brings us to that destination of who we truly are in Christ. Our true identity. He was already speaking those words before we could draw our first breath. And he fights everyday to make sure it happens. Most times we don’t even know it. Other times, we know it.

The lyrics said: No shadow you won’t light up, mountain you won’t climb up, coming after me. No wall you won’t kick down, lie you won’t tear down, coming after me.

The last line about the wall and the lie got to me. There were so many times, I had said things to God because he allowed certain things happen to me, that I didn’t understand why He did that until later. He always makes you understand why He had to let things happen. Sometimes, it takes years. Truth is: God would rather have you go through those nasty things, while he still shields you just so he doesn’t lose you later in the future or even in the midst of those problems.

The first two sentences made me realize the difference between who I was and who I am now. Sometimes, life can through stones at you and all you can think of is, building a wall between yourself and God. Between yourself and the whole world. But there is a destiny you need to fulfill but all the devil does is tell you a lie to make you think you’re not worthy or even worth God’s time. A God who had to give his only son away, not minding the consequences of whether we would turn from our even ways or not. Who else could have done that. He does things that we as human would think twice before doing for love. His love is so perfect that even while we push Him away and call Him names, he is still there. I had drifted away from Him one time in my life because I thought everything He ever does is spoil my plans. I was so interested in being in a relationship that I got into anyone as long as the guy liked me and I liked him as well. But in the end I get so involved and it would crash and I would blame God and say nasty things and turn me back on Him. It happened over and over and even while I did that I would blame Him for not being there for me. Until I was tired of it all and He said, “I never left. I was always there, waiting for you. I’m still waiting.”

The fact the we feel he isn’t there doesn’t mean He is not. He never leaves. He loves us too much to leave. Cory Asbury’s song said, “Oh it chases me down, fights till I’m found, leaves the ninety-nine.” Have you even fought for something that is so dear to you that you don’t even mind the fact that you’re being injured, all you want is that thing. Or a parent who says to an attacker, “take me and leave my child”. God’s love is so reckless, He doesn’t even care. All He wants is you. He wants you back. No matter what you have done and the devil wants you to believe, God is saying He is still waiting. Most times the devil brings discouraging words because he is the accuser of the brethren but God is saying there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus. Which means, there is nothing you may have done in life, that will make Him push you away, perish that thought because the devil doesn’t want you to go to God. And it starts from the believe you have. You only have to believe that God loves you too much to let you fall.

“God’s Ways Are Not So Good!”

I used to avoid involving God in my plans because at the time, I thought all He does is spoil them. “He is such a wet blanket!”. “God’s ways are not so good!” I would tell myself and most times when I prayed, I tried to patronize Him in my prayers. The Bible said that we should acknowledge Him in everything we do. The book of Proverbs also said that we can make our plans but we also have to understand that only God has the final say.

He is not a spoiler of plans, he is simply the best planner. There is a way that seems right into a man but there in lies destruction. Most times when we try to make a decision, we take to God and we already know that this is what we want hoping that just because it is what we want, God also wants it too.

No!

God has already planned our lives even before we were born. It has already been strategized and put in place. What happens in reality is only the manifestation of the blueprint of His plan for us. It may not work out the way we want it to, but it is worth it in the end. Someone once told me that the will of God is hard and painful but it is for our own good. Yes, that is true. It is always for our own good.

I later learned to place my mind on a neutral level and just expect nothing until God decides. Sometimes my human emotions can get in the way and make me want that thing so bad that I can’t even think of anything else and in the end, I’ll get a different answer. Sometimes I don’t and it happens to be a confirmation that God wants me to do this. But I’ve also learned to wait a few days when I get so eager to make a decision and see how much I really want to do this after a week.

There was a time, I was so eager to have a haircut. It was a good feeling, thinking about how many times, I’ll have to style it. I actually had that feeling for over a year but somehow I just knew I wasn’t ready to make that decision. Most women in Nigeria already know that having a haircut is a big decision that needs serious consideration. You don’t want to be looking like a young widow afterwards. Especially when you already cut you hair and your parents decided to style it themselves. For someone from a strict family, cutting your hair is not such a good thing if you’re not tinting it or adding some dope curves to it.

At the time, I knew I wasn’t ready. There was this push to do it but somehow, there was a feeling that I could be making a mistake. It happened like that and decided to sit it out for over a year. Three months after that, I realized that if I had cut my hair, I would have regretted it because there was no valid reason why I wanted a haircut and I wasn’t even sure I would like myself. A year after I became eager again to cut my hair but this time, I had a valid reason for it and I was sure about it. I had a project to start up at the time, and adding my hair to my budget  didn’t sound so good. I was sure this is what I wanted. And I prayed over it, waited a while to be certain that I wanted this and after a week, I had decided. And there were no regrets afterwards.

Our plans and decisions can come from our human desires sometimes and not necessarily God’s confirmation that he wants us to do something. Other times, it’s a confirmation that God wants us to do it. But in all, when you take your choices to God, let your mind be on a neutral level. You know that as a human being, you are bound to have a preference, it is not wrong and there is nothing wrong with you for wanting something. One of the things God gave us is the power to make choices and He lets us make those choices but He still lets us know the better one. So, let Him know what you want even though you still want Him to make a decision for you. It can be hard, but be happy He is there to help even though it didn’t go as you wanted it to because later He will let you know why He chose that for you.

How I give back to the community

What do you do to be involved in the community?

Oh, nothing much. But whatever works for anybody is fine, as long as you’re giving the best.

Professionally, I am a Dental Therapist so I love to go on outreaches, meet people, help them with their oral health, give instructions and teach people who don’t have access to oral health services or even get the chance to take good care of their mouth. The confident smile that comes up after every consultation or treatment, the satisfaction we see on their faces is enough to get you on a high.

There’s love and care. A lot of people don’t really need money, though it is paramount, but all we just need is that love and care. So I try my best to give that. And I make people laugh as well. Oh, I can be the funniest person too

That’s all I can think of. But like I said, anything can be done.